...why does it have to??

Just thinking about tomorrow is making me sad. I don't want to cry. I don't want tomorrow to come...I don't want to wonder why she isn't here...why God took her away from me. I guess some people would say that it shouldn't be that big of a deal after three years....but when you were close to someone and you lose them without getting to say goodbye or I love you one last time--it hurts like hell. Lately, memories spent with her are all I can think about. Sometimes it makes me get tears in my eyes and want to just disappear for a little while to work things out....but it never can happen. Ever.

I miss Terry so much. Her laugh. Smile. The way she cared about everyone, no matter what happened. How she could make anyone's day better. She didn't care what people thought of her. There was never a time when she came over that she couldn't make someone smile. She had a really great sense of humor. Whenever times got rough, she could make things better by doing simple things. How she made it so there was never a dull moment. She cared. She listened to everything and gave good advice. She was always there. I loved her more than anything in the world. I miss her in general. 

Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds that I wish I could have

One more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because they are gone,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

I don't know why...but I like that song...I like Carrie Underwood's stuff...surprisingly.

Pray for me tomorrow to get that job! Thanks!!

Good night!

<3 Nicole